Rant #2

            Okay I work as a photographer and I photograph everything from newborn babies to large families. I work in a studio located inside of a Target and contrary to popular belief I am a professional. I truly enjoy photography and working with the children that come in to my studio. True sometimes I get those kids that can't sit still or take direction really well. I don't blame those children though, I blame the parents. Some of the parents that I get in my studio are a real piece of work. 

            I've had those parents that want every little detail of their child's pictures to be perfect from their hair to their smile. I understand wanting your child to look good in their pictures but when you're telling your child to smile naturally when they all ready are you are making it worse. Not every child's smile looks model perfect because they are children and they still growing. They are still trying to figure out how their bodies work. Worst are the parents with the babies that are three months old or younger saying they want a picture of their baby smiling. I want to roll my eyes at these parents especially when they all ready have one or more children. No baby actually smiles at that age because the muscles in their cheeks are still developing and they don't know how to work them just yet. The only times I've seen a babies smile that young is by tickling their cheeks as well as being quick with the camera or if they have gas. Thinking you're child can smile so perfectly on command when they are seven or younger is unrealistic. When I've watched these parents tell their young children to smile on command it just makes them more rigid and nervous. I understand that parents are just trying to help but they are just making it harder for me to do my job. Instead of telling your child to smile on command like they are a dog try doing something that would make them laugh. It would make more sense to have them enjoy being there rather then feel bad about themselves for not "smiling naturally". 

            The next set of parents I wish I could just boot out are the ones that believe they are special. I even had a woman just yesterday that I tried calling at 10:30 am to let her know that the appointment she booked online for 4 pm wasn't available because that is when we close. We even tried calling her a second time throughout the day as well as leaving her two voice mails  Needless to say she showed up at four. When I told her that we attempted several times to call her throughout the day her response was "I have a newborn. I can't check my voice mail". She then proceeded to ask me if we would have sent an email. So she would have checked her email but not her voice mail? I've even had customers come in knowing very well that we're booked every twenty minutes apart since it is Christmas season expecting to do five outfit changes on their two year old. I wouldn't do that many outfit changes on a two year to even begin with since after one outfit change they are usually fed up. There are even those that are late for their appointment to the point that the one scheduled after then actually showed up on time. Naturally I would take back the person that was on time so that appointment that was late is left waiting till I have time. I want to kick these people out of my studio because half the time they expect to get some kind of special treatment because they had to wait. You were late for your appointment so no I will not treat you like you are on a pedestal. 

            I do have a lot of parents that I love seeing when they come in to my studio. They are the ones that actually make my job even more worth while doing. So for those of you out there that believe that your photographer is supposed to be a miracle worker when you bring in your child after a doctors appointment, with no nap or even sick. No child is going to want to smile in that kind of situation so get off your high horse and quit blaming someone else as to why your child is clearly unhappy.

Abortion

            Another hot issue out there right now is the topic of abortion. Both sides try to make their arguments as to why it should be illegal or legal for a woman to get an abortion. Both sides have a very long list of points they try to make. Personally I'm all for making abortions legal within reason.

           One side says that you shouldn't be allowed to abort a fetus no matter how small it is. Some has even gone as far as trying to say that they should get rid of the Plan B pill or even birth control pills. The reason for getting rid of these pills is that "they are a poison to the body". Why would you want to get rid of a way that a woman tries to prevent pregnancy because they feel they aren't ready for a child? We don't need more reasons as to why so many children are in foster homes or even live in orphanages waiting for a nice couple to adopt them. I understand where they say that a life is a life no matter how small. If you become pregnant because you chose to have sex unprotected then you should at least carry the baby to term. I'm sure there is a very good couple out there that are looking to adopt a new born baby. It's not the best feeling in the world giving up a baby but I say that's better to do than not even give the child a chance. It's better even if you weren't ready in the first place to take care of a child.

            On the other side there is the people that say that it should be legal because it is the woman's body and she should be allowed to do what she choose to it. Just like everyone has the right to do what they want to their body from tattoos all the way to plastic surgery a woman has the right to do what she wants to her body. Personally I believe that a woman should be allowed to have an abortion after traumatic incidents like rape. Would you ever want you child knowing that their life was created from an act of violence? Would they want your child to know that their father was someone who is not only a criminal but a monster? In a way I feel that it's similar to thinking about having children knowing that you carry a disease that is hereditary  I've even seen stories and video of those protesting abortion clinics harassing those that go in. I don't feel that this ever the best approach to trying to get people to hear your message. You're only portraying yourself as a bully and bigot when you harass someone walking in to an abortion clinic. For all you know they aren't even going in for the reason you're accusing them off. When a woman's baby that she is carrying actually dies in the woman they have to an abortion clinic to remove the dead fetus. These I personally feel are legitimate reasons to have an abortion.   

            I see where each side of the argument of abortion has it's good reasons but telling someone they have no say in what they can do to their body is wrong. Just allow a person to actually make up their own mind with what they do with their body.

Silver Plate

            Okay so what I don't understand is how people expect things to happen in their life without them putting in any kind of work. You can't expect to have everything handed to you on a silver plate. When everything is handed to you this way you don't appreciate anything that you have. Then when you do lose what is given to you quite a few people would blame the person that did the taking. When something has been taken from you that you didn't remotely work for or even earn you can only blame yourself. Nothing in life is worth having if you don't work for it.

            You can't expect to truly get anywhere in life if you don't work hard. You can't truly get a good paying job if you don't put the time and effort in it to learn the career you wish to go in. If you feel what is holding you back is a college degree there is always a way to get one. Their are scholarships of all kinds out there and even community colleges that aren't as expensive as a traditional college. You've got to start somewhere and if that place is at a community college then so be it. At least you can say that you are working to make your life better. When you're done with community college that degree could potential making you enough money so you can afford to go to a traditional college. There is even financial aid or even grants that you can get. You can't expect to just sit on the coach every day drinking a beer and think you'll just magically get that dream job you've always wanted. Even those that have successful at home businesses (Mary Kay, Avon or even Team BeachBody) have had to work to earn the money that they make. 

            Even those that are in committed relationships that think "oh we're perfect together because we don't fight" that is not always the cause. Even the most perfect couple butt heads every once in awhile. You've got to work at a relationship. You can't expect you're relationship with your significant other to last through the long haul if you two don't actually work on your relationship. Problems are bound to come up in your relationship and it's all about how you two work together to fix that problem. You've got to work on communicating with each other and letting each know when they're doing something that bothers you. Never let things just build up till either of you explode. It's unhealthy to do that and it could just make things worse than they actually are. When you actually put the work in to your relationship you'll have a long and happy time together for as long as you're together.

            I hate when I come across those parents that have worked for everything they have and think it's okay to hand their children everything. It's nice to try and give your children a better life than what you had growing up. Just don't hand them everything to the point where they think they don't have to work for anything because mommy and daddy will give it too them. All the things that I had to save my money to buy growing up I took extremely care of knowing very well that I would have to replace it if it was damaged. When one of those kids/teenagers that get handed everything breaks say an IPod they begged for they usually just go "oh well my parents will just buy me a new one". Try actually teaching you're children how to work for what they have so when they become adults they don't know how to handle the real world. The real world won't care that mommy and daddy handed them everything on a silver plate. The real world will only care if they know how to do what needs to be done. How can someone appreciate all that life can offer if they were never taught how to work for it?

            Long story short if you don't even bother to work to better your life how can you expect it to get better? How can you appreciate anything in your life if you've never had to work for anything you have? The only way to truly get what you want in life is to work for it.

Bullies

          One of the things that I really hate about this world is the fact that there are so many bullies. It amazes me that to this day there is always a bully in every group of a hundred people. You would think after all the things that have happened over the years due to bullies people would think that "hey I shouldn't bully people". Over the past couple of years there have been school shootings caused by teenagers that got tired of being bullied and didn't think that there was anything else they could do. There are even situations where people have even committed suicide due to people around them continuously being put down. It even amazes me that those that bully people that end up committing suicide or even lashing out at those tormenting them some even think that it's only the one being bullied's fault.

            Usually when you come across someone that bullies those around them the most typical reason is that their own self confidence is very low. Most bullies usually go after someone that they wish they were more like in one way or another. Even worst though is those bullies that pick on people around just because they enjoy seeing other's in misery. How is it that you can some how get in to the mindset that another person's misery will make you feel better? What part of another human beings suffering would make you feel joy? I wonder when these people look around to see that no one cares about them if they actually feel anything. I don't think any human being truly enjoys being alone but when you're a bully that's the only route you're heading down. When a person chooses to bully someone or the people around them all they are doing is pushing everyone away from them. Why would any one want to be around someone that does nothing but put them down?

            What most people don't realize though is that just standing by and letting the bullying happen is just as bad as the bullying. No one wants to know that there is someone just standing there watching when they could do something to help. If you are being bullied though you especially should be saying something. Never just stand back and let someone bully you. If you're in high school or lower go to a teacher or even just straight to the principal. Never let someone keep putting you down or even physically hurting you. The bully in my life that I had growing up I allowed it to go on for far too long. I got to the point where I didn't even want to wake up in the morning. It wasn't till I finally said something that the bullying finally stopped. If I had just said something way sooner I wouldn't have spent so much time suffering. I wouldn't have gotten to such a low point. For those of you out there that are being bullied speak up. Fight back (not literally).

            So for those of you out there bullying people you might want to grow up. All you're doing is showing how little substance you have and you're only going to end up alone in your life. For those of you being bullied I hope that you have the strength to fight back to stop the person from bullying you.

Perfect Body

            I never understood how the standards of a woman's beauty went from being curvy (roughly around a 11) to being skinny (a size 5 or less) With the model's and actress' in the media that are being portrayed to the world it isn't hard to see why so many women have bad body images. The media have set the standards of what they believe beauty is so high that its actually unrealistic. Not every woman in the world can be the size two with C cup breast. Woman come in all shapes and sizes just like men do. Most women's metabolism won't allow for them to be able to eat what ever they want and expect to not gain any weight. In my opinion women shouldn't worry about those women in the media. Instead just work on keeping yourself healthy. If you stop worrying about every other woman around you you'll actually be so much happier.

            This next part goes out to all the men. Why would you want to date a woman that's so skinny you can see her ribs? Literally most men seem to want the woman that looks like she's breakable. These women that are size 2's usually don't have very good self esteem or confidence. It would make more sense to me to look for a woman with curves that holds her head high from self confidence. One of the most beautiful models out there is Marilyn Monroe who was actually a size 12. She was not only a model but and actress as well as a singer. This very successful woman wasn't a size 2 and wasn't literally skin and bones. If I'm going to try to aim for a woman in the media to try and emulate I would pick her. Her body type is one that is quite achievable just from eating healthy and having a regular exercise routine. Setting up a goal to reach when it comes to trying to lose weight for woman isn't a bad thing but don't make that goal one that leads you to a size 0. What some women don't realize is that there is such a thing as being too skinny and that can be quite unhealthy. I would very much be a size 8 or 10 and be healthy than being a size 2 or 5 and feeling like I have no energy to do anything. 

             For all those women out there that are trying to hard to be that perfect image of a female body, STOP. There is no such thing as the perfect body. There are all kinds of body shapes out there and standing in front of the mirror saying that this and that is wrong with your body isn't what you should be doing. Even plastic surgery isn't going to give you that perfect image you're looking for. Instead just strive to be healthy and happy. When you achieve these two you're self esteem will follow. Just by getting healthy I've noticed my self esteem is better than it ever has been in my entire life. I've stopped really caring about what everyone thinks about my body. Instead I care more about just enjoying life and not worrying as much. Just got to kick the stress of achieving that perfect body out the window. Wouldn't you want to get rid of stress in your life even if it's a little one? Wouldn't it be easier to be happy if their is less stress in your life?

Depression

            You hear every day it seems of someone knew dealing with depression. Most seem to think that being diagnosed with depression is a joke and don't think that it should be taken seriously. Those that suffer from depression can actually be quite self destructive especially when the people around them don't really take it seriously. Those that suffer from depression can go as far as physically harming themselves and even committing suicide. The sad fact is that all these people need is just one person to care enough to step in and fight to help that person.

            People that suffer from depression have a variety of reason's as to why they are depressed. In some cases it's as simple as someone is being bullied by a small minded person. It can go as far as having something traumatic happen in your life. Even adults with high demanding jobs can suffer from depression due to the stress they have to deal with day to day. There are several medications out there that can help with depression but there are for some when medication doesn't completely cut it. On top of medication some seek out help from a therapist. Just the act of being able to talk to someone that cares enough to listen and help a person talk through their issues can help a great deal. Another people way to help with depression some doctors actually recommend adding exercise to your daily routine. Exercise actually releases endorphin's in the body that is a chemical that helps you reduce your perception of pain. In turn it helps reduce stress and anxiety in the body. I personally do suffer from depression due to a traumatic incident in my child hood. I do take an anti-depressant but I go running 3 miles any where from 5 to 6 times a week. I'm happier than I've been in a long time and even my husband has noticed a difference in my attitude when he came back from his deployment. There are a variety of ways to help you with your depression. It's just about finding those ways and pushing yourself to actually try them out. If what you're trying isn't working try something else. You only really fail when you don't try at the very least.

            For those people out there that know of someone that suffers from depression don't be rude to them. Don't tell them just "get over it". Saying that right there just shows how little you actually care and you could potentially be making that person's depression worse. For all you know they just needed someone to sit there and listen to them tell you want is wrong. It's not going to hurt you just to sit there and listen. For all any one could know is that the person suffering from depression could be dangling off the edge and just need someone to pull them back. If it weren't for one of my dear friends in high school going out of her way to snap me back to reality I might not be here. I'm forever grateful to that friend for just caring enough to make sure that I made it from day to day. That's all it took back then to stop me from cutting. A single person with enough heart to just be there for me.

            So for those of you that are suffering from depression there are ways out there to help with your depression. Don't just give up and say that "I'm just going to be depressed my whole life". That moment you give in is the moment that you'll most likely never come back from it. Lastly if you know about anyone that is suffering from depression rather then assuming it's nothing serious actually have some compassion. Would you want someone to tell you "get over it" if you're depressed and just want someone to talk to?

Equal Rights

            So the most recent hot topic these days is same sex marriage. There as so many people that say that it shouldn't be legal for those that are gay or lesbian's to get married to the person that they love. Then on the other side there those that are fighting to help make same sex marriages legal. Both sides have their own arguments as to why they are right yet personally I feel that those that want to make the commitment of marriage should be allowed to whether they are man and woman or even same sex. 

            Why shouldn't someone be allowed to make the commitment of marriage in front of their friends and family? It shouldn't matter if it is a same sex couple. Those that are in a relationship and truly love each other should be allowed to have the right to marry whom ever they choose to marry. All the reason's I seem to hear as to why it should be illegal to have same sex marriages is religious. It's all about the Bible says this and that against gay marriage yet these people seem to forget something very important. One of the reasons that America was first founded was for religious freedom and when the government was founded they separated church from state. If church wasn't separated from state then so many freedoms would have been taken from us. We might even still be living in an age where there was still segregation. Instead of trying to force your religious views on someone because they want to marry the person they love try actually doing something better with your time. Instead you could be fighting to help get rid of white extremest's or even helping with dealing with things as simple as people who are struggling to live day to day. Why waste your energy on something that makes you look like closed minded religious nuts?

            Would you want to have someone tell you that you couldn't be married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life? If you wouldn't want someone to take away something that you have the right or even privilege to do you shouldn't be doing it to someone else. No one wants to have another person's views shoved down their throats and told "either you agree with me or you'll suffer dearly for it". Everyone has a right to choose how to live their life whether it be gay, straight or even bi-sexual. Just because a person is attracted to the same sex doesn't make that person any less of a person. They aren't going to be going straight to hell for loving whom they love. That should never be a reason that a person's soul would be condemned. If anything I would say those that steal, murder or cause a human being harm would be the ones with the black souls. I'm not a religious person but I do believe that if you live an honest life you aren't going to go to hell for it. So how does being gay or bi-sexual mean that you're going to hell?

            Before you decide to tell someone they can't marry a person because they are the same sex try being a little more open minded. It's not that hard to just let people love who they want to love without making them feel dirty about it. No one wants to feel like they are disgusting and wrong for loving whom they love. Would you?